ASSERTIVENESS

 

Enjoy Asking for What you Want

 
Home      About Me     Contact Me      Fees       Press     Counselling


 

 

ASKING FOR WHAT YOU WANT 


The ability to ask for what you want directly, even if you do not get what you want, will give you increasing life excellence.  Asking for what you want tells others that you are high in self-esteem, feel yourself worthy of achieving what you want and that you value yourself highly. 

 It is an extremely important skill to be able to make requests in an assertive rather than aggressive way in business.  Even more important for life balance is to be able to, be direct in this aspect with your loved ones, the benefits are two fold in that both you and your family will experience increased confidence and self-worth.  

We are often discouraged from asking for what we want in this society with many people believing that direct requests are rude, or display an arrogance or over confidence, direct requests equal only one thing - excellent communication.  

 DIRECT - stated to the boss - 'Let me talk to you about how much I have accomplished over the past few months, and perhaps we could discuss a review of my salary?

INDIRECT - stated to your colleague loudly as your boss walks past- 'people should really recognise my achievements, I haven't had a raise for ages.'

 Some people feel guilty when ask

ing for what they want or feel a sense of rejection if they are refused their requests, and so rarely get what they want because they rarely ask.  Some also learn manipulative techniques that induce guilt.  This type of communication only results in unhappiness and pain for all parties, so be courageous and ask for something you want today.   Keep it small if you find it a particularly uncomfortable task or , make your request as outrageous as you like if you want to break down  barriers quickly.

 

You may feel uncomfortable at first but it does become easier and easier, and the rewards will come on each occasion, as you feel more and more confident about yourself and your self-worth.  On a business level of course you will find yourself being given the opportunities you always wanted, the type of opportunities you see being offered to the person who is no more competent than you but appears confident and has the belief that they are worth it!